How to lean into criticism?

This technique is deceptively simple. Leaning into someone else is saying, and embrace that person's criticism with gusto every time your customer speaks. In other words, when flames are coming at you, walk right into them and crank the heat u even higher. At this point, you will think I am crazy, like putting oil into a burning flame.

But think again: when someone is unhappy, especially if he or she is really unhappy, we tend to lean away from his or her complaints, emotionally and sometimes physically. We give bland acknowledgements, try to minimise the problem, and even make excuses. Or worse, we say nothing at all. Even our body language gives us away: We tend to back off, make less eye contact and close up our stance.

To me, I will throw myself into people's grievance. Be right there with every bit of anger and indignation he or she is feeling. More often than not, the tension drain away and you re suddenly in a rational conversation with that super unhappy person. That's because that person now realises that you "got" into the person, and all that negative energy has harmlessly vaporised.

Step 1: Hand their complaints back to them
This is the simples way because the customer just handed you the words. Put them in your own words, and hand them right back to them.
In any case, you take a moment to live where your customer lives instead of just jumping headfirst into your side of the story. By taking their words and handing right back to them, you are letting them know that you heard them, and you processes what they are saying and is safe to talk about it.

Step 2: Use "WOW" words
Handing back someone's complaint works even better when you use what psychologists call mirroring to reflect a customer's emotions. If your customer is agitated, respond vigorously If he or she is doing a slow burn, speak deliberately and with as much gravitas as you can muster. Be right there with your customer, use their words and thoughts, and match their feeling for feeling.
Your goal right here is to get that customer nodding his or her head up and down to whatever you say so you can calm him or her down and keep talking. "WOW" language is a pre-emptive strike that takes hearing and feeling his or her story completely off the table so you can both calm down and get to business.
Acknowledgement does not equals to agreeing. For now, your only main concern is to build connection, and the quickest and most powerful way to do that is o match the customer's emotions.

Step 3: Steal all their good lines
Most people who serve the public worry about reactions to what they do. Instead of worrying, predict how they might react and get there first. By doing this, you are trying to create a stunned silence. The result f being heard and anticipated is exactly the kind of outcome you want.

Step 4: Never defend yourself first
Here is why: The customer isn't listening to you when you start to defends yourself. Anything you say to defend yourself is going to pass through undigested at best, or enrage the customer at worst. In this moment, it is all about the customer. So your job here is to get him or her to listen to you first and lay out the facts later.
Defending yourself too soon is ineffective when you are right and outrageously offensive when you are wrong.
So what can you do? Hear them and learn from them. Then shift gears into problem solving, hopefully with someone who is now listening to you instead of screaming at you. That is really all there is to it. You follow exactly the same approach whether the customer is right or wrong , the consequences are large or small, or the problem is solvable or not.