How do we get our message across in a conversation? There are 4 points to note.
- Empathise - think of how the receiver will interpret the message.Often, when we consider the avenues through which we receive information, we think only from our own perspective. We frequently fail to note that different people have disparate ways of processing information. Empathy is a crucial aspect of putting across a message. It also involves putting ourselves in the shoes of the other person.
- Repeat the message - there are many ways to put a message across, and one of the ways to ensure that the message is put through thoroughly is to paraphrase and reiterate.
- Share the message at the right time - everyone has their own preferred timing for receiving information. There can be a myriad of responses to the same message, depending on the current disposition of the recipient; effective timing helps the message to be brought across effectively.
- Describing the message - one should focus on the key issues and not on the person or his/her character. Lest ego gets in the way of amending an otherwise easily remediable situation.
The key is to never, ever interrupt when the other party is speaking, because interruption prevents a seamless flow of the message from the other party. Apart from the implicitly rude connotations, interruption also cause us to be distracted, increases our inner voice, and hence deprives us of the chance to suspend our own judgement. As much as we want others to empathise when we speak, we also need to empathise as listeners, to try to understand and really capture the essence of what the speaker to continue to engage in the conversation meaningfully, and it encourages true sharing from the speaker.
Overall, be conscious of your own inner voice; avoid screening out information, filtering and making judgements. And each time you sense that you are making judgements, remind yourself to suspend your judgement and maintain an open heart and mind to receive the speaker's message.